Success vs. Vulnerability; Trust makes Love Last
Tight, intricate writing, exquisite architectural references and details are depicted in Ryan Moore’s ‘Before the Walls’, a character study of New York architect Gabriel, a prequel for Moore’s ‘Unspoken Lust’. Quiet, controlled Gabriel is a master of detail, secure in his Art and grasp of engineering and the building of modern masterpieces; he has a history of outmatching the representatives of the Board as they try to manipulate and cheapen his designs to save money and time. He meets his match in developer Jake, who informs him at the end of a first meeting that he will not quit, as his 3 predecessors have, that he ‘intends to last’ in the job. Grudging respect and rapport builds between them, indeed they work well together. Jake invites Gabriel to meals to discuss plans and corporate decisions, and they seem to be on the same page; Jake wants to put Gabriel at ease and pushes for closer companionship, pushes for intimacy.
– Previous failed relationships have toughened Gabriel, he is not one to relinquish control or feelings easily; he is scarred and perhaps broken by lost loves. Insinuating himself into his private space, Jake is supportive of his decisions and craftsmanship, is understanding and caring. Jake eventually gets close enough, passes through Gabriel’s defenses with nonchalance and charm, and the men become intimate. Afterward, as Jake is sleeping. Gabriel is awake and thinking about past choices and the possibilities ahead.
– Moore has shown us this scenario before, in backstories of his characters, how they lower their defenses and expect the best, only to be let down by their lovers, to be betrayed by the other’s need for power or status, ending up bereft and alone. Moore’s characters maintain their own stability, their sanity, but at a cost to their morale; they turn slightly colder and more remote, becoming almost background characters in their own lives; they heal and awaken to life at the touch of others. Lucky for Gabriel, his best friend, college-to-present day, supporter and buddy, Mark takes him into his home and his children’s lives; reminds him of the resilience of found family and friendship.
‘Hidden Traces’ is Moore’s follow-up ‘freebie’ beginning a few weeks after ‘Walls’. Gabriel finds Jakes notebook in the office, and realizes the he was loved, seen, even adored for his insights, his work ethic, his moral outlook. Jake realized he was the lesser man, he was a coward who chose career advancement over vulnerability, over love. Gabe is struggling, coping with abandonment and having to rebuild the protective ego walls that had been torn down. Jake’s cologne, on another man in a restaurant, brings a panic attack and he agrees to therapy at Mark’s suggestion. By chance, Gabe recovers a message thread from Jake he had never seen, that confirms Jake consciously made his choice, was aware of the consequences, and would always regret his choice.
-Armored with knowledge that he was loved, that his lover hadn’t chosen the high ground and regretted his choices even as he made them, and with therapeutic support, Gabe is ready for his chance encounter with Jake, in a coffee shop neither had frequented. Gabe allows Jake’s approach, his attempt at apology and rational, and even encourages him in his own therapeutic recovery, saying he is becoming a man worthy of someone’s love. Jake is left contemplating his choices.
– Gabriel has grown through all this pain, sees clearly the choice between status quo success and vulnerability; between just living and having a Life. We are left with the bon mot ‘trust is what makes love last.’ Be careful not to break trust.
