This story shows how it’s not so easy as many of us would think to be born into wealth. Money solves certain problems, but the weight of all the requirements, the lack of true independence, that is a tough trade. While I would love the money to pay off my bills, I don’t know if I could give up what Logan has had to for it. That is a heavy dilemma that has no easy answer.
I realize most of us use masks in public, presenting different parts of ourselves to different groups of people. There is a whole other level, actually multiple levels that Logan has to use in his life. Constantly being watched, assessed, scrutinized not just by people he interacts with in public, but by his father. Somehow, in the middle of all these expectations, he comes up with his own slightly different path. Thought he figured out a way to tie it into what is expected of him, only to have it dismissed without a thought, and other arrangements made without consulting him. It feels like he’s trapped in a box that he was placed in at birth. Feels suffocating, like when or can he have his own life?
This whole story about Logan also breaks my heart because of his loneliness. He’s going through the motions, doing what’s expected, not allowed to stray from the plan in the least. I think it’s easy to look at someone like him and think, “He has it all, his life must be so easy.” For those of us who have struggled with money, it can be easy to think it solves everything. Those thoughts of “if only I could pay off all my bills, everything would be okay.” Reading Logan’s story, the pressure he is under, it makes you think and consider what he has to give up to attempt to meet and exceed expectations. No love from his father. So when I read about Logan, I’m not thinking, “He’s got it made,” I’m feeling my heart pulled, seeing his loneliness, wanting him to find ways to be himself. I also see a strong spirit in him, underneath what he allows others to see. He’s polished his exterior but has so much depth that he’s trying to figure out how to give space to.
These interactions between Logan and his father, it’s like he’s not allowed a choice or opinion, just told what he is to do, no response necessary. He can see this all coming over the years, he attempted to do something slightly outside the plan and was shot down. Now those possibilities of a different life are all buried under his responsibilities as heir. That is so much weight to carry on his shoulders. I like the little ways that Logan finds to “rebel.” Sending a donation through a shell not traceable to him, using contemporary artists under guise of “youth philanthropy outreach.” I wonder how much of this gets noticed, how much is he able to hide?
The bonus story “Hidden Self” is a must read for further understanding of what Logan is going through. You can get the link by signing up for Ryan’s newsletter, which is worth it for all the extra stories he shares with his readers. In this story we see Logan make some realizations about himself, but also fight back against his desires as they go against family expectations.
Reading Logan’s stories has my heart broken wide open for him. He is someone I would think I have nothing in common with. Born into wealth, getting the best education, having a career carved out, and waiting for him. These are all things that are dreamlike to me, not reality. But he’s not shallow, he has dreams and desires he can’t pursue, let alone voice, due to expectations. He’s given a narrow lane and no opportunity to veer off course in the least. In a character that’s had a life so different from my own, I actually find connection in feeling trapped, trying to find a path forward, to live a more authentic life.