Love and Courage
Beautiful. I hate this story. I love this story. Emotional rollercoaster. PTSD from my previous relationships. Damn Ryan Moore, he did it to me again. My chest tight, I can’t breath; I’m calm, collected (maybe), I can write this review. Maybe.
– This is a sequel, so be sure to read the previous novella and backstories to be informed, to comprehend all the emotional baggage. This isn’t some tropey ‘my best friend’s son’ story. This is a wonderfully written, sensitive, complex, multi-layered story. I wish I had gone back and re-read all the previous stories, but as this is one of my favorites, I think I’m fine.
– Gabriel and Mark have been friends since college, have seen each other through business failures, failed relationships, Mark’s marriage, the birth of his children, the death of Mark’s wife, and now they are in their 40’s and established in their careers. Gabriel’s life hasn’t been roses, his first lover betrayed him, stole his architectural designs and sold them out from under him to further his own career. Betrayal, hurt, and barriers went up. Years later, when Gabriel trusted again, his new lover had a drug problem, couldn’t be trusted, broke his heart again, and then died, leaving him bereft, adrift. Mark took him into his family, Gabriel was present for the birth of his children, was the favorite ‘Uncle’, and when Mark’s wife developed cancer Gabriel stood by his friends and bolstered the family. He was at Dylan’s HS graduation, at birthdays, he mentored Dylan in his own studies in art and design. Gabriel was always in their lives, and was loved.
– Afraid of trusting again, of putting his own heart at risk, Gabriel in now seen by Dylan, who is now out and proud, and knows what he wants. Dylan has always loved Gabriel, and now he realizes his feeling are more than just familial affection. Pursued by Dylan, Gabriel gives in to his own feelings. When Mark realizes what has happened, he feels betrayed. Now we are ready for the sequel.
– Previously, Gabriel tried to shut Dylan out, and Dylan tried to live with that; both were miserable. As this story starts, both are meeting again, the affair is on, but on the down-low. Mark is insufferable at home, tension at the dinner table. Tension between the lovers, as Gabriel tries not to be guilty and fails, tries to ‘protect’ Dylan by pushing him away. Dylan has to be the strongest, has to stand up to his father, stand for his lover; support him and love him through his insecurities.
– As in ‘Time Traveler’s Wife’, the lovers have circled each other throughout their lives, always there, always just at the edge of discovering their emotions, realizing them, actualizing them. Gabriel has always been in Dylan’s life, has always cared for him; Dylan has always loved Gabriel, and only has to grow into his mature feelings. Dylan’s purity of emotion is what Gabriel has always needed, to be brave enough to bring down his own barriers of self-doubt and wounded pride.
– Thanks, again to Mr. Moore for allowing this beautiful catharsis, at least for me. I hope this tale affects all you other readers as deeply, that you can see parallels in your own lives and loves, that we all can grow and mature.
Moore’s follow-up story ‘Taking Chances’ shows us things we’ve glimpsed, but from Dylan’s side, not Gabriel’s. The beginning of feelings, discovery in a gay bar that resets his previous history with Gabriel, his sketching Gabriel in his art class, how his mind is always on him. Dylan’s realization, the dawning of mature feelings. Dylan’s pursuit of Gabriel, their appreciation and attraction for each other, Gabriel’s reluctance and Dylan’s pluck. The triangle of feelings, Mark for Gabriel, Dylan for his father, and finally, the substantial base of the triangle, Dylan for Gabriel and vice versa. The fight in Dylan’s apartment, Mark punches Gabriel, the subsequent separation and then the reunion. The lover’s choice to fight for their feelings, to be together and unafraid. Dylan shines, and Gabriel loves him for it. Gabriel must shed his fears, his inadequacies; Dylan matures as he encourages him. Love is growth and change, responsibility and courage.
